Daily BFO - Blinding Flash of the Obvious

Stop trying to convince the people who don't want to buy and invest your energy into those people who want to buy. JP Dunn, DCDCLLC.com

This one goes out to all the parents - kids, pets or any person in a position to give care. I spent the weekend at a Cub Scout camp out and the night temp reached 30 degree F. My son and I were only in a tent with sleeping bags. Yes it was cold and I have so much "right to complain." But I won't. He had a great weekend and so did I. We did a trail walk through a rock field and he ran around with 5 other young boys. It was great and I am glad I had the time to stop and enjoy it with him. He continues to grow everyday and I had the chance to create some great memories with him and our den. I know parenting is tough and I just wish for you to have the vision to see and experience those "amazing times" while in the difficult times. I need to remember to stop and enjoy them. Wishing you a Blissfully Healthy day, Tom DailyBFO.com

As I continue along the path of improvement, my mind wonders to the idea of failure/procrastination. I can plan. I have the skills. I even have a goal in mind for the big picture reasons. Why can't I still just dig in? I need to build in an incentive or motivation that is seen in the short run. I need encouragement as well as accountability. I need to build a Lego style approach to my success. Lay a foundation - the big green square (if you know Legos.) Then start stacking on that. If I build too high too fast it will topple. Outward or forward momentum is what I need and must develop.  Sad truth is that sometimes my quick foundation "win" is so I won't upset my wife. But I can then build on that. I don't want that to be my sole motivation as I will grow to resent that and maybe even her and she had nothing to do with it really other than how I projected it.  So in summary, I need to lay the foundation, s et the block, next block, next block, build out and then up...

Negative Amplifies; Positive Resonates I experience this a lot in my thoughts as negative thought A breeds, B, C and on exponentially. This is the amplify effect. Where as positive thoughts just resonate - like a bell ringing or ripples in water. I need to be aware of the difference and turn off the negative and allow for the force of the positive to resonation to carry me forward. Improvement is my short term goal so improving my thoughts to be positive and turning off negative will help accomplish that. Forward is the direction I want my next step to be even if the wave of negative knocks me down I get back up and take the next step where I am - forward. May you be moving forward towards a Blissfully Healthy life, Tom DailYBFO.com

Recently, a friend just completed a 12 step program at Watermark and thought it is not the same as the famous 12 Steps of AA it is similar. It got me thinking again of change. The Serenity Prayer that is used in AA states: God grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. Acceptance sounds easy as a word but seems to be sometimes a difficult task for me and my ego. I am opinionated and as such seem to want to argue no matter what the subject even if we agree. I cannot change this core piece of me but I can improve my response or reply. For my wife's Sanity may God grant me this improvement. It just takes me a moment to think about someone else rather than it being about me. I need to "Let go of my ego!" and I don't mean the waffle. Help me please. If I am ever involved in a conversation with you please call me on this behavior and help hold me accountable as I want to ...

My negative thoughts will never lead me to having a positive life. Enough said. I must strive to improve my thoughts which will improve my life. Be Blissfully Healthy, Tom DailyBFO.com

So my thoughts kept going back to Friday's subject of change versus improve over the weekend. I kept asking myself if we could really change and I concluded we cannot. We must transform. This requires a motivation that is usually outside of ourselves - death of a loved one transforms our diet and habits, divorce transforms our behavior to our loved ones, pain in our jaw to transform our hatred for the dentist and go get a root canal, and the list goes on and on. As I reflect on my list, I see that all my transformations were generated out of pain (or very strong fear) either emotionally or physically or both. Even my transformation to accepting Christ was born out of some kind of pain. To improve myself it is just a conscience choice with my intention of improvement followed by an action. I still must evaluate my choice and action as I may not have achieved my desired results. So evaluate, plan, choice, action and re-evaluate are my steps to improve. Hope you have a ...

I just had a conversation with a very wise person (Thank You Arg!) where I was talking about fixing something within my thoughts, process or choice. She called me on it and asked what it would do if I just changed a word - from fix to improve? Wow!!!! Fix is my internal critic screaming at me that I am broken and need to be fixed - judgement! Improve means I want to make it better. Less judgmental, focusing on strategy/tactics, and I can bring more clarity to motivation if I know why I want to improve and what the improvement will bring. Hope this brings up something for you to ponder and maybe improve - in yourself not others. :) Wishing you a Blissfully Healthy day and weekend, Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org DailyBFO.com

My children remind me daily of how overcomplicated I make life in my head. Their thought process is simplistic and straight forward. My daughter has a learning difference and doesn't let it stop her from unlocking her potential because she is persistent. I, as her parent, do help steer her to alternative ways to accomplish the same goal as she can get fixed on a way of doing something and then being frustrated continuing to try without success. I want her to persist but change her approach. This is simple right? Then why don't I do the same thing on stuff I am working on? I need to take a step back and look at alternative ways to accomplish the same goal and try. I need to persist at the what and less of the how. Let go of my investment in my way to do it and persist in finding another way. Thanks sweetheart for teaching daddy. Have a Blissfully Healthy day, Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org

My days start off with a bang as my Fitbit vibrates me awake to get everything ready for the kids and for them to not be late for school. After that, my day kind of goes unscripted while they are in school and here lies most of my non-productive troubles. I have been on a search to help myself establish a routine and organization of my unscripted day. So basically build a script so it is not unscripted. Then build out my goals and commitments and then establish my accountability partner/s to make sure someone else knows what I said I wanted to do. At the end of the day the partner will receive a phone call or email of yes/no responses to my commitments. In turn they are not to make me feel guilty but rather put verb structure in the physical world to what I believe was important to me. Plus give me data points to reflect on what I enjoy doing the most and where I need improvement. I disappoint myself on a daily, hourly, minute and even second basis so why would I think I can hold mysel...

Today I realized I need a daily routine because I work best toward my commitments. I also will get an accountability buddy to discuss weekly task I commit to getting accomplished and ask for them to hold me accountable. If I want to get something I must plan for it and that requires defining the tasks, committing to doing it, action/follow through and accountability. Hope this helps us all. To your Blissfully Healthy life, Tom Blog.blissfullyhealthy.org

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right. Henry Ford I really am just what I think and then what I do or act on those thoughts. This is why it is important for me to think positively and engage with my fellow humans with positivity. Think and do to become.  Be Blissfully Healthy, Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org

Happy Friday the 13th. This day is known by many to be unlucky. So if I believe in something unlucky then I must believe in luck. I prefer to leverage the idea from some business books: luck is preparation and opportunity. Then the inverse would be lack of preparation and not seeing or listening for opportunity. I have had minutes, hours and even days in both sides of luck and unlucky. When I take an abstract look is see where I had or lacked preparedness and opportunity. I clearly believe I had a role in how the luck or unluck rolled onto me. May you be able to have all the luck you need to succeed in all you prepare for and see/hear and respond to in your life. Many lucky and Blissfully Healthy days to you, Tom Blog.blissfullyhealthy.org

No matter what has happened to me or where I find myself the fact remains that I am still in control of my choices. (I have never been in a physically assaulting situation where force was applied to make me decide.) I may have even been limited to a single choice that I didn't like or want but in the end if I choose it then I am to own it. Yes, there is the possibility of me not making any choices of my options and it brings me back to the fact that do nothing is still a choice. Victor or victim: Is it defined in my choice before, during or after the label is applied? If I have a mentality of owning my choices even before I go into any situations and own the choices through out then the labels are just judgements from others. I did the best I could then with the knowledge I had then, not now. I will succeed if I own all my choices. May you be Blissfully Healthy, Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org

As I discussed the last two days, the idea of a quadrant with horizontal (left/right) axis of Ego and a vertical (up/down) axis of Narrative. I thought to try and place management styles within quadrants but the model just didn't support that easily. Instead I discovered action and performance in each quadrant. To help illustrate this I finally made a non-professional picture.                   (Narrative)                           |                           |     Follower        |          Leader                           |                           | Mego---------Ego----------Wego             ...

I have worked for many types of managers and have studied the styles in school and read countless articles and books on the subject. My collected experience concluded that the hierarchy of management style moves upward in ability and performance as the narrative increases. Example: A dictator-style leveraging fear and humiliation will have short term impact on performance but have an exponentially diminishing return. Compared to a servant leader who is articulate in narrative and building consensus across the team with strategy, vision, and tactics for all positions from left to right. Everyone can pull together to accomplish the established goals and expectations. What is your narrative as a leader? Food for thought and tomorrow I will show how I see this intersecting with the Mego-Wego horizontal line from yesterday's post. May you be Blissfully Healthy, Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org

Ego. Yes I have one and at times it drives me to places I don't want to be. I visualize my ego as a line. Yes this is math-like, so hang in there. To the more left I go from center "Ego" the more it becomes "Mego." I become selfish and all about me. The more I go to the right the more it becomes "Wego." Removing me from the situation and leveraging people around me. Whether that be for help or just support. I also was trying to find the opposite of ego and turned the letters backwards - oge. It hit me. If someone is talking with me and I have an attitude of Mego, I won't hear them but rather saying oge (pronounced oh-geeh) is an engaging comment that I hear them or want to hear more and now we are on the way to Wego. Visual Mego----------------(Ego)----------------Wego I was inspired by the Spirit to get this for me to internalize for myself and also to share. It is going in the book so more on that tomorrow. To you - Blissfully H...

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude." ―Colin Powell A friend of mine, Sally Bennix, posted this quote on LinkedIN and it really made me think. Do I celebrate my little wins? If I added up all the little wins they would assuredly be greater in impact than my larger goals I have been trying to pursue. The small wins should be my training ground to launch me into confidence and experience to accomplish those major goals. Why do I discount them then? Not anymore. Time to celebrate all my wins.  Thanks for the great reminder Sally and Collin.  http://linkedin.com/in/sallybinnix Be well and wishing you BlissfullyHealthy times.  Tom

FDR said "Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself." I think fear can be good. When I hear a barking dog my fear reaction tells me to prepare to run.  I just attended an event celebrating MetroCare of Dallas on their 50th Anniversary and Emmitt Smith gave a talk. He discussed his fears and eventually how he chose to overcome them.  On a reflection of that point, I realized I am desensitized to how I define fear and in turn thought fear did not control me. Now, looking from a different perspective, I believe my everyday non-actions could be from fear but I have called it by many different names - tired, lazy, busy, priorities, blames, excuses, denial, etc.   Now I can be more watchful of why I am not taking action and question whether it is by good fear (too much risk, I could get hurt, etc.), limiting fear or something else.  Peace and Blissfully Healthy, Tom blog.blissfullyhealthy.org  

God shows up everywhere, I just have to be listening and watching.  Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org

Start simply and just simply start Blissfully Healthy, Tom Blog.blissfullyhealthy.org

Every time I speak it should (must!) be to inspire not impress. This requires me to listen and give rather than talk to hear my own granulations. Ouch! This one hurt my ego and great to hear. Peace and Blissfully Healthy, Tom Blog.BlissfullyHealthy.org